Do you believe that you are responsible for your own happiness? Many would say that you certainly are. And this is great news! Let’s take a look at why the idea that you are responsible for your own happiness is such a good thing.
Being responsible for your own happiness essentially means that you can be as happy (or as unhappy) as you want. Placing the ability to dictate your level of happiness in your own hands gives you tremendous power.
Have you ever thought that someone else made you feel something? Like, “He made me so mad!” Or, I can’t help but get upset when…(someone else does something). This is a common trap that gets almost everyone. We are taught to believe that our feelings are caused by external things.
This shifts the responsibility off of us so that we can blame other people or things for the way we feel and how we live our lives.
But we are not at the mercy of the external world. It is not up to others to make us feel good. It is our right and responsibility to take care of ourselves. And this is great news!
Knowing That You Are Responsible for Your Own Happiness is a Wonderful Thing!
The reason this is so awesome is because it puts the control over your life in your own hands. Think about it: if it is up to us to decide how we feel, and the way that we interact with others and the world, then we can decide to make it a wonderful experience.
It often feels like our emotions are out of control. That our feelings come on suddenly, and happen to us rather than because of us. This is especially true with negative feelings. But perhaps positive feelings are this was as well. Like joy just comes out of nowhere, stays with you for a moment, and then goes back to wherever it is that it came from.
This way of living means that you are incapable of deciding how you want to feel, or how much of each emotion you’d like to experience. And this is how most of us live! But, if we want to improve the proportion of negative to positive feelings that we experience in our lives, then we must admit that we have the power to do so. Otherwise, it’s all random and we don’t even have to try.
But trust me, I know from experience that living like that does not generate good feelings very often, and joy and bliss become totally out of reach. We get stuck in the negativity of it all, and feeling badly becomes a lifestyle. Things get dark and we’re unable to see the light. Sometimes we start to believe that it isn’t even there anymore. And this is dangerous territory.
Now I’ll admit, it’s difficult to take responsibility for ourselves. But it is the most worthwhile challenge you’ll ever face. It may be hard at first to remind yourself that you get to decide how you feel. But once you get some practice at it, you will quickly realize that you have discovered the key to the kingdom. Once choosing your feelings becomes natural for you, it is possible to feel good almost all of the time! All you have to do is choose positive feelings.
Here’s How I Did It:
I was living in a bottomless pit of misery when I was first exposed to the idea that I am responsible for my own happiness. I was looking for the perfect man or job or combination of chemicals to make me feel at least alright enough to go on living. And the best answers I was coming up with were leading me nowhere good.
And then I met someone who knew what is was to live in a state of darkness. He had been there longer than I had been. But he was a completely changed person. He had done an entire 180 in his life and had turned everything around for himself. And when I met him, I knew that I wanted in.
“What was he doing so differently?” And, “How can I do it too?” were the two questions that spurred me on towards getting to know him better. And when he insisted that he had changed his life around and now experienced bliss daily just by changing is thinking, I thought he was crazy. Or lying.
But the results he had achieved were indisputable. So I hung around. It’s been over two years since we began spending time together, and it turns out that he was right. All I had to do was change my thinking.
When I finally decided to try that. To really earnestly commit to changing the dialogue in my mind into something that served me, the results came very quickly. Almost immediately. It took me years because I was too stubborn to really try. But, as it was for him also, once you really try, things begin changing rapidly.
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The Steps of Taking Responsibility for Your Own Happiness
1. Believe that you can change the way you think and feel.
2. Begin paying attention to every thought that you have. Noticing your feelings first really helped me with this. A feeling would come up and I would immediately trace it back to its cause. “What was I thinking about a moment ago, right before this feeling came up?” The answers to that question eventually proved to me that negative thoughts precede negative feelings, and vice versa for the positive ones.
3. The last thing to do now is change your thinking. That’s it! Utilize your power to choose which thoughts you entertain, and which ones you let pass by without giving them any attention. Harmful thoughts will still come up, but if you ignore them and don’t give them any energy, it doesn’t matter. They can’t hurt you or turn into feels unless you give them that power.
4. Hold onto your hat, because you have done it. You have the knowledge that you are responsible for your own happiness, and you are not afraid to use it. Feel free to move through life with ease, peace, and joy from here on out, and don’t forget to spread the love.
On that note, please like and share this article so that more people can learn how to create their own happiness.
And, please do tell us your thoughts in the comments section below. We love hearing form you!
P.S. The person that taught me all of this is Robert. He’s a pretty cool guy. Get to know him here.
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