If you want to know how to not let things bother you in a relationship, then keep reading.
I’ve got some tips and hard truths for you about not letting things bother you in a relationship that you need to know.
When people in long standing relationships are asked what the secret is to staying together, they often say, “communication”.
Well, communication is a tricky concept. There is a lot that goes into defining it. And what exactly constitutes “good” or “effective” communication, anyway?
Stating that communication is the key to a good relationship is misleading, because competent communication alone will not keep a couple together.
Especially if they’ve grown to hate each other.
This happens so frequently, it is slightly disturbing. How do two people who started out so totally in love, believing that their significant other was the bees knees, end up despising each other and having a brutal divorce?
It’s not due to a breakdown of communication alone.
Learning to communicate well is a process, and it’s an important part of developing a viable relationship. But a large component of it is also personal work.
Two individuals who cannot express themselves clearly or really listen to another speak, are not going to figure it out in the arena of the relationship.
So learning to communicate as a general concept is a very important part of becoming a functional adult.
But there is something else that precedes communication in a successful relationship.
And that is: how you judge your partner.
Judging Your Partner Favorably is the Key to Not Letting Things Bother You In a Relationship.
The basis of a judgment is an opinion. And an opinion is “a belief that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.”
Thus, opinions are not facts. They are made up concepts based on our limited perspective on whatever we are judging.
We all constantly judge people, ideas and situations. It’s how we quickly get a read on what’s going on. It’s how we sum up whatever it is and decide how to react.
But if we slow down a little, we can realize that there is a choice we are making when we determine our beliefs. And we can choose to change what we decide to believe.
We can control what opinions we form. We do not have to stick with whatever conclusions we drew based on our first impression.
Your opinions do not appear out of thin air. It may seem that way because you formed most of yours so long ago. But you came up with them at some point. And, they can be changed, if you want them to.
More conveniently, opinions can be shaped as they are being formed. Nip the formation of negative or harmful beliefs in the bud. It’s much easier to change something as it’s being formed, rather than after it has hardened and become routine.
Think of yourself as a potter. As the clay project (or person/situation/idea) spins, you have the ability to give it shape (form your opinion or belief).
Do you want your vase to be tall or squat? Wide or narrow? The project is yours, and it is up to you to shape it into something you can live with.
So be very careful as you form your opinions. You have the power to decide how you look at and see the world. Don’t leave it up to societal pressure or just going along with the popular ideas of the moment.
The right beliefs can change your life.
So, if you want to know how to not let things bother you in a relationship, the answer is: judge your partner favorably no matter what.
See them in the best light you possibly can, and give them the benefit of the doubt whenever it’s reasonable. Hold on to the belief that they are the bees knees for all your relationship is worth to you.
And most importantly: focus on what you love about them.
This is such a major concept, that I made it a subheading. You do not want to miss what comes next.
We all have magnifying minds. What we focus on, grows.
If you focus on the problem and what’s wrong with the world, you will start seeing problems everywhere.
Instead, try focusing on the answer, and you will begin finding creative solutions everywhere.
Keep an open mind, and focus on the good.
The bottom line is this: If you want to not let things bother you in a relationship, believe positive things about your partner.
Look for evidence to support the opinion that they are a wonderful human being, because the proof exists right under your nose. You only have to know to look for it.
If you loved (or hated) this article, leave us a comment below! Tell us about your opinion on this matter, and how you formed it 🙂
Also, please like and share this info widely. The more people judge each other favorably, the happier the world will be.
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