Start to get what you want by asking yourself the following question:
How boldly assertive are you? Did you answer, “Not so much?”
Well, you are not alone.
For many of us, assertiveness is not our strongest character asset. The good news is, it’s not hard to improve this attribute and start to get what you want more often.
Here are 7 tips to help you build your assertiveness muscle and start to get what you want from life.
1. Start with Empathy
Be aware of the needs of those you spend time with, and make an effort to understand their feelings.
This powerful insight will give you an advantage in negotiations.
Understanding where they are coming from will help you find a way to ask for what you want while benefiting everyone involved.
2. Be Willing to Compromise
To leave a victor in the persuasion game, you don’t have to win all aspects of the deal.
Consider compromising on issues that are less important to you, and are more important to the person you are trying to persuade.
When everyone can walk away feeling like a winner, you know you are becoming an artist of persuasion.
3. Negotiate to Get What You Want
Create an environment for discussion that is comfortable for the other person.
You can open a channel for meaningful communication by deeply listening to what they have to say.
Understanding their point of view will help you tailor your arguments to be well received and considered by the other person.
4. Don’t Get Emotional
Becoming upset while making a request can undermine your position and turn others off.
It may feel manipulative or make the other person uncomfortable, and can shut down their interest in working with you.
Maintaining your composure shows that you are a level-headed and mature individual. Being easy going, while making strong points for what you want, is much more likely to convince another person to agree with you.
5. Don’t Be Tentative to Get What You Want
Having a clear picture of what you want before asking for it will put you in a strong position for receiving it. Be sure of what you’re requesting, and of what you’re willing to give to get it.
Being tentative and using words that come across as uncertain will only diminish the likelihood that you’ll meet your end goal.
Use language that reinforces your request and shows your belief that you can handle what you are asking for.
6. Provide Options
Offering multiple concrete possibilities that will meet your request makes it easier for another person to give it to you.
When you give someone options, they are more likely to find one that works for them, while also giving you what you want.
Have a few in mind when you make your request. Having them ready to go will boost the probability of finding a solution that makes everyone happy.
7. Wait a Minute to Get What You Want
This is your final step in being assertive and walking away with a win.
You have listened, compromised, negotiated, controlled your emotions, used strong wording, and given options. Now you need to be quiet and wait for an answer.
This can be tough because we automatically want to fill the seemingly awkward silence. However, giving them the space to think things through will work in your favor.
Using these strategies may not let you have your way every single time, but knowing that you have these tools in your arsenal will empower you to stand up and ask for what you want.